Breaking Point
by JennMel
Summary: After the fire in the ARC, all they could do was watch as the last original pair began to shatter from the inside out; to wait, and be there when the break occurred. A short analysis of the progressive, reckless self-destruct of Connor through series 3.


Author Notes: I honestly had no intention of writing anything like this when I got up this morning. Stupid plot bunnies. This was brought on thanks to not only my anger at the cancellation, but also watching the first series in yesterday, and then much of the third series, again, today... It struck me that when compared, from episode 4 of series 3 onwards, Connor really did get into a lot of life and death situation in quick succession, many of which involved unconsciousness. I also like Becker's character, and felt he didn't get enough expansion (or even a first name!). Anyway, hope you enjoy!

**WARNING SPOILERS!!!** – If you haven't seen episode 3 onwards in series 3 of Primeval, don't read, as this will spoil nearly every episode from there, up to and including the finale. You have been warned.

**Breaking Point**

Nick Cutter had never been the easiest person to decipher. In fact, Becker had always found Lester's advice to him on his first day invaluable: _"Just pretend you understand what he's saying and pull him out the way of whatever creature feels like eating him."_ And yet now, more than ever before, Becker found himself beginning to understand the professor, even if it was a little too late.

While Lester's advice had been typical of his biting, and mildly counter-productive way of showing he cared, Cutter's had been short, _"Try not to get yourself killed."_

At the time, Becker had of course responded as any soldier would in the face of what seemed to be an affront to his skill. That he was quite capable of handling himself, thank you very much. Cutter had merely looked at him briefly, _"It's not you I'm worried about."_

Becker had, at the time, merely put the statement down to his new position on the team, but now, he was beginning to see the reasoning behind the man's words, and he didn't like what he saw.

Because that infuriating man had failed to heed his own advice, and Becker had failed in his duty, the moment Helen Cutter planted a bullet in her husband's chest, and Nick had died in Connor's arms.

The service had been quick, and short – work on rebuilding the ARC had barely begun. It had been a quiet affair, and as Nick Cutter's life had long been devoted to the anomalies, there were very few faces Becker had not known.

And that was when he had understood, standing there, in the mocking sunlight, rain only hanging above the heads of those who would refuse to admit they were crying.

This would be one funeral too many.

* * *

As a habit, Becker now did an inventory of each person when he arrived each morning.

Lester was experienced. He could maintain enough emotional detachment to function, and even to try and get Jenny through to the other side. Jenny was trying to follow his lead, but was finding it difficult.

Sarah, thankfully, was possibly the most together of the lot, as she had not known Nick as well as the original team. This was an excellent thing, because right now, Abby was only able to function for her own stability, and Becker didn't think he could cope with a 24/7 watch on Connor by himself.

That morning, he had scanned the room, barely suppressing a sigh when, once more, he saw Connor sitting, staring, at that damn artefact. He had almost seemed not to register Sarah, acting much as he had for the past few days, alternating between extended periods of silence – disturbing in themselves – to over-caffeinated activity in an endeavour to fix everything that had been destroyed in the fire.

And then of course there had been the anomaly, followed shortly by yet another over-sized lizard that seemed to have a penchant for Connor, Jenny, and, for some odd reason, journalists.

Becker waited to the side, half-listening to a round of Jenny vs. Danny, waiting for Abby to leave. Finally, whatever the pair had been talking about was resolved, and as the woman left, and Connor turned back to the equipment, Becker took his opportunity, striding forwards, and grabbing the younger man by the arm.

"Hey! Becker, what?" Connor looked at him in confusion.

"If you will insist on pulling insanely idiotic stunts, you'll at least get yourself checked out." He proceeded to guide Connor to where the field medic was patching up one of his soldiers.

"Becker, seriously, your concern is flattering, but I really need to-" Connor cut himself off at the military man's look, "Alright, fine, but I dunno why you're getting yourself so worked up, it was just a bump on my head. Besides, the bleeding's stopped."

Becker merely raised an eyebrow as he let go of Connor's arm, and the younger man swayed slightly as he adjusted to suddenly being stationary once more. He then registered what Connor had just said, "_Bleeding?_ Connor, could you be any more of an idiot? Do you have no sense of self-preservation?"

"Hey, a concussion is a small price to pay for getting that G-Rex away from you guys. A thank you would have been nice!" The student folded his arms petulantly.

Becker rolled his eyes, firmly grasping Connor's shoulders, and forcing him to sit and wait for the medic, "_Thank you_. Now please try not to do that again."

For a moment, the Captain could have sworn he saw some remorse in those eyes, but if had ever been there, it was fleeting, for it was soon replaced by a slightly woozy grin, now the adrenaline was wearing off, and a mock salute.

* * *

Talk about a whirlwind.

Jenny was gone.

Danny was here to stay.

And both Connor and Jenny had nearly frozen to death. Medically, Jenny technically had.

Becker shuddered inwardly. That was a scare he hoped not to have again in a very long time. He was drawn out of his memories by Lester's voice, "Don't suppose you've seen Temple around here have you?"

Becker blinked, "Uh, no sir, I haven't. Any reason I should be looking for him?"

"Oh nothing, I've just given him the wrong door key, that's all." It was testament to the events of the day and the culmination of near deaths that not only had that sentence slipped out, but that it took a few seconds for Lester to register his mistake. His glare quickly hardened, "One word, and I will have you scooping dino-dung for the rest of your military career. Am I understood?"

Becker had to fight to keep a straight face, "Perfectly, sir."

"It's only temporary. He was living here for god's sake." Lester felt the need to fully defend himself.

"I thought he lived with Abby?" It didn't make any sense. Now of all times, why would the pair chose to go it alone?

Lester made a non-committal noise, before placing a key in Becker's hand, "I've got better things to do than search for wayward civilians."

Becker smirked at Lester's retreated back, "Yes sir."

When the soldier finally did find Connor, the ARC was mostly deserted. He only succeeded in his mission by following the squawks of a pair of mischievous little creatures – whom, he was almost certain, should be registered and contained somewhere that wasn't a storage room, amidst an explosion of stuff and a sleeping scientist. As he stood in the doorway, Becker found himself suppressing what felt like the umpteenth sigh of late.

He was almost certain that the gear was halfway to being packed up, which put forth the dreaded question of what the mess had been like before. Connor seemed to have fallen asleep mid-task, which wasn't really surprising when one considered that it was highly unlikely he had slept much at all since the fire. The soldier gently placed a hand on Connor's shoulder to shake him awake, only to jump slightly himself as Connor jerked awake far too fast to have been in any semblance of peaceful sleep.

He blinked rapidly, scrambling to sit up, "Becker? I...you...what's going on?"

"Lester was looking for you, gave you the wrong key." Becker handed over the small object, all the while silently checking Connor over, "You okay?"

"Fine." Connor answered bluntly, "Thanks for the key."

"Connor, from what I understand, you were very close to becoming a human ice cube today." He knew he didn't imagine the shiver that just passed over Connor. "You're allowed to not be fine."

Somehow, and Becker could not fathom how, Connor managed to pull a half-smile onto his face, "What's a little fire and ice in the ARC? If it makes you feel any better, I apologise for almost getting myself killed again." He scrubbed his face with his hands, a slight sombre air to his next words, "I guess I slept through Jenny leaving?"

"Yes, she left a little while ago. It's gone midnight after all."

Connor blinked softly, "Damn. Shouldn't have fallen asleep. What are you doing here so late anyway?"

"Late shift. Need a hand with this...stuff?"

Connor began to shake his head with a smile, but then winced, "No, but you can help me catch Nancy."

* * *

Becker leant silently against the wall as the nurses checked the four people over at Lester's orders. One day by themselves and they manage to run through a minefield, be chased by giant ostrich things and get into a car crash. All in a good days work in making him age prematurely. He pinched the bridge of his nose when the nurse informed them of Connor's concussion, "Again? Seriously?"

"Hey, it wasn't like I meant to crash!" The young man shot back.

Becker snorted, "No, you were probably just too exhausted to be in any state for driving!"

"Well maybe you should drive next time!" Connor snapped back, stress driving his words, "Oh no, wait, you'll probably be too busy pointing a _gun_ at us!"

"_Connor!_" Abby gasped.

Her sharp, clear voice seemed to seep through the haze, and he flinched, "Sorry. Just tired I guess."

"And concussed." Danny drawled. "We could all do with a respite I think." His pointed words defused the tensions in the room to a point, but not the worry he felt.

* * *

Danny and Becker didn't really need words to describe what they had felt today. The terror they had seen in Connor and Abby's faces when they had realised what they would be facing was burned permanently into their retinas. The Predators, so fierce that they didn't need another name, had been something else, something that neither Danny, nor Becker, had been particularly ready to cope with.

After the danger of the day had passed, and Abby's brother was safe, the young woman had pulled the men aside to apologise, "I know I wasn't very helpful back there. In fact, I almost got you killed." She nodded particularly to Becker, "I'm sorry..."

Danny had smiled easily, "It's understandable, he's your brother."

Abby had returned a ghost of the smile, "It wasn't just that. It's just, this was the first time, you know? When it was just me and Con." At the men's confused glances, she had shrugged softly and elaborated, "Every other time we'd faced the Future Predators, we had Stephen; we had Nick." And she had just walked away.

Her sentiment had shocked them, and it had only been reinforced but a little time later when Connor had cornered Becker, "Don't ever do that again."

"I'm sorry, do what?"

"Risk your neck because you think your life is worth less than ours. Not against those _things_. Never again."

"You mean just like you've been acting recently? At least it's my job to risk my life."

The comment caught Connor off guard, and his momentary anger seemed to dissipate slightly, "Just...don't get yourself killed, yeah?" And he had walked away to find Abby, his eerily echoing words ringing in Becker's ears.

* * *

He would never know how they did it. All he did know was that he didn't think that either he or Sarah had felt such extremes of defeat and elation in one day. Her idea to get them back had failed. It had been a long shot, but at the ARC, long shots had always seemed to work before. Only this time, they were left with thin air, and one less anomaly than when they had started.

And then, just as Becker had been about to suggest they head back to the ARC, a call had come in from the beta team. An anomaly had been picked up in a storage unit facility on the other side of the city, and three people had been found. Emergency medical attention had been called; two of the three were not in a good way. Lester had directed Becker and Sarah to meet him at the hospital.

It was there that they met Abby, looking tired, but otherwise relatively unscathed. "Abby!" Sarah flung her arms around the other woman, "We thought...how did you get back? Where are Connor and Danny?"

"Hey Sarah." Abby gladly returned the hug. "Connor and Danny have been admitted."

"What have they done this time?" A long-suffering tone of voice floated up the corridor as Lester arrived, but the trained ear might think to hear some concern in the tone.

"Connor broke his ankle falling out of a tree. And knocked himself out while doing so. Yeah. I know." She had smiled slightly at Becker' raised eyebrow, but it soon faded, "He collapsed not soon after we got back. We had to carry Danny between us over two miles to reach the anomaly point. When we found him, he was barely lucid, suffering from malnutrition, exhaustion and quite a few injuries. From what we could gather, he'd been stranded on the other side of the anomaly for a couple of months by the time we found him."

"And you two?"

"We'd got separated after Connor fell. Danny went after Helen through another anomaly, while we made it up a tree to spend the night. In the morning, we found one of those devices, the ones that can find anomalies. Connor used it to get us to Danny."

Lester sighed, shaking his head, "And Helen?"

Abby's face hardened, "From what we could tell from Danny, she's dead."

"Right, good, thank you." Lester seemed to be trying to process everything, so he fell back to normalcy, "You've all got tomorrow off. The beta team can handle anything that comes through." He nodded to them, before moving away.

Abby smiled softly, shaking her head. Sarah regarded her carefully, "Let me drive you home. You look exhausted yourself."

"I'm fine-"

"I'll stick around here for a while." Becker interrupted her. "I promise to call you if anything changes."

* * *

Danny was still in the ICU, and so it was Lester, with the higher pull, who was checking on him, leaving Becker with Connor. A very stubborn Connor. "What part of 'extreme exhaustion' are you failing to grasp here?"

"I feel _fine_. Okay," he amended upon seeing Becker's look, "Apart from the ankle, I feel fine."

Becker sighed, deciding to take a different tact, "With the job we do, we can't afford to not be in top condition. If you're not in complete physical health, the bashes your body – and yes, I do mean you particularly, when we consider your nature as a magnet for rather exotic reptiles and the like – _will _affect you more. Why else do you think you collapsed when you came back? We've not exactly had a relaxing time of it lately, Connor, stop making it harder on yourself."

Connor didn't respond this time, merely looking impassively at the soldier. And then, "I can handle it."

"No, Connor, you can't. You've been making increasingly more and more reckless decisions. I know you think you need to keep Cutter's work alive, but he wouldn't have wanted you to kill yourself to do it!"

"I'm fine." Connor reiterated, although his voice was less sure this time, and there was a slight shake to it.

"I don't want to have to attend your funeral anytime soon, and I know Abby definitely doesn't. There have been too many since this began."

"You don't need to tell me that!" Connor spat, his eyes now fixed on Becker, who for his part was just relieved to see Connor express actual emotion for once. He remained silent, inviting Connor to continue a tirade. But the anger quickly abated, just leaving a tired blankness, "The first time I realised how dangerous this job would be, my best friend died. Tom. He died in my arms, and it was my fault, because I had gotten into this stupid thing. Cutter just told me that I shouldn't quit. That I couldn't let Tom down. And then there were so many times, so many cases when I thought we would die, but we didn't, so I guess I thought we might make it after all. Until Stephen. I didn't watch, but I know why he died. And then, and then Nick...and he just...I mean, what the hell? I'm not even thirty and I've already had two people die in my arms! Not long ago, Danny was working his way to becoming the third, and what about Abby? Or you and Sarah? Or..."

He trailed off, shaking uncontrollably, and Becker was unsure if Connor even realised he was crying.

And yet, true to Nick's advice, right then, back at the beginning, Becker kept his promise, he kept breathing, if only just to show Connor that he was not the only one left, that there wouldn't be any more funerals just quite yet.

Two hours later, and Connor was asleep. Becker jumped slightly when Lester walked into the silent room, "Quinn is stable. They're confident he'll make a full recovery to annoy us all again very shortly. Well?" Lester pointedly folded his arms to further exude the air of impatience he was so well known for.

"Connor should be fine, sir." Becker enunciated his words carefully, "I also think he's moving back in with Abby."

Lester nodded, "Finally." They both knew that wasn't just a reaction to him getting his home back to himself. "Bright and early, Captain."

"Yes sir." Becker smirked as Lester left. There was definitely some sort of universal joke involved that it was both him and Lester, the two most emotionally reserved – or perhaps stunted would be the more appropriate term for Lester – were the two to finally manage to pick up the pieces and fit them back together.

After making a check on Danny via the nurses' station, Becker settled in for a night in an uncomfortable hospital chair, as Connor barely shifted in his sleep.

Cutter would have certainly found the funny side.

**FIN**

Author Notes: I would love to hear any thoughts!


End file.
